Walking in Freedom: Amy Riordan's Powerful Testimony of Transformation

 Amy's Spiritual Transformation in Jesus

Today I have the immense privilege of sharing a truly inspiring story of transformation and freedom. In a recent episode, I had the honor of interviewing Amy Riordan from Walking in Freedom Net. Amy's journey is a powerful testament to the healing power of Jesus Christ, and I felt it was crucial to bring her message to you in written form so it can reach even more hearts.

Amy bravely shared her testimony of overcoming same-sex attraction and pornography. Her passion is to see people's hearts healed and set free as they walk in an intimate relationship with Jesus. God has done an incredible work in Amy's life, and her desire is to see others experience that same freedom and embrace who God created and redeemed them to be.

A Journey from Church Attendance to Intimate Relationship with Jesus

Amy grew up in the church, attending services every Sunday. However, like many, she didn't initially grasp the concept of a personal relationship with God. It felt more like God was an observer, judging her actions as right or wrong. This distant perception kept her from experiencing the true intimacy that God desires with each of us.

At the age of 18, Amy's life took an unexpected turn. She developed a deep emotional connection with a close friend, which eventually led to confusing and unwanted same-sex attractions. These feelings manifested in dreams and desires that were completely foreign to her previous experiences. Having always been attracted to boys, this new reality was unsettling and isolating. She kept these feelings to herself, unsure of who to confide in.

Looking back, Amy recognizes the hand of the enemy in those early experiences, sowing seeds of confusion and leading her and her friend down a path neither of them truly desired. Neither Amy nor her friend understood the spiritual battle they were facing and the power of deception. They eventually entered into a relationship that lasted for a couple of years until distance separated them.

The Brokenness and the Search for Fulfillment

The end of that relationship left Amy with a profound sense of brokenness. She had found a closeness and connection with her friend that she had never experienced before, leading her to believe that such intimacy could only be found with another woman. This was a long time ago, in the 90s, when these topics were rarely discussed openly. Amy tried to return to what she thought was "normal," dating boys, but the underlying feelings and desires lingered.

Over the years, these thoughts grew, and Amy found herself fantasizing about being with another woman. She eventually married her husband, whom she loved and was attracted to, hoping that marriage would somehow erase these unwanted feelings. However, instead of disappearing, these attractions intensified.

A Turning Point and the Trap of Pornography

Before meeting her husband, Amy had given her life to Jesus and experienced significant positive changes. Yet, the struggle with same-sex attraction persisted. She felt unable to talk to God about these feelings, believing He wouldn't want to hear about them. She tried to suppress them, hoping they would eventually fade away.

After getting married and having her first child, Amy went through postpartum depression and a period of significant emotional turmoil. Having always suppressed her feelings and avoided dealing with past hurts, everything began to surface. It was during this vulnerable time that she turned to pornography online, initially lesbian pornography, to explore the thoughts and desires she had been battling.

Despite having a relationship with Jesus, Amy felt trapped. She was consumed by shame and fear, unsure of how to tell her husband or anyone else. The lie that "Christian women don't do this" kept her silent and isolated.

The Courage to Confide and the Beginning of Healing

Finally, one day, the Holy Spirit prompted Amy to tell her husband the truth. It was a terrifying step, but she knew she had to be honest. Unable to speak the words, she wrote him a letter, confessing her struggle with pornography, specifically lesbian pornography.

This act of confession was the catalyst for profound healing, not only in her marriage but also in her heart. It opened the door for God to begin addressing the deeper issues that were fueling her struggles.

Seeking God First: The Key to True Freedom

Initially, Amy focused all her energy on trying to make the same-sex attractions disappear. She prayed fervently, believing that she needed to "fix" herself. However, she realized that by focusing solely on the attraction, it became the center of her life, inadvertently giving it more power.

God gently revealed to her the truth of Matthew 6:33: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Amy realized she had been seeking healing and freedom first, instead of seeking an intimate relationship with Jesus.

As she shifted her focus to seeking God first, He began to reveal the deeper wounds in her heart – anger, unforgiveness, and pride. He lovingly showed her these areas that needed healing, things she had previously overlooked.

Intimacy with God: Filling the Deepest Longing

Amy came to understand that what she was truly craving was intimacy, not necessarily with another woman, but a deep connection. God revealed that He could fill that need in a holy way. This concept was initially confusing, as she had always equated intimacy with sex. However, through seeking God and learning to communicate openly with Him about her struggles, she discovered a profound and fulfilling intimacy with her Creator.

She encourages others facing similar challenges to talk to God openly and honestly about their temptations and desires. By acknowledging these feelings and asking God to fill those needs in a holy way, we allow Him to work in our lives and show us His perfect love and fulfillment.

Temptation is Not Sin: Choosing Our Response

Amy also gained a crucial understanding about temptation. She realized that temptation itself is not sin. Even Jesus was tempted. The key lies in how we respond to those temptations. She had often felt immediate guilt and shame simply for experiencing same-sex attractions. God showed her that it's our choices and actions in response to temptation that truly matter.

She beautifully illustrated this with the analogy of birds flying overhead – we can't stop the thoughts from coming, but we can prevent them from building a nest in our minds. This understanding brought her immense freedom from unnecessary guilt and shame.

The Importance of Sharing and Accountability

Amy strongly emphasizes the importance of telling someone about your struggles. It was the most terrifying thing she had ever done, but it was also the most crucial step towards freedom. Shame thrives in secrecy and darkness. By bringing our struggles into the light and sharing them with a trusted individual, we break the power of isolation and allow others to support and pray for us.

For those who don't have someone they feel safe confiding in, Amy encourages praying for God to bring that person into their lives. Finding someone to entrust with your struggles is a vital step in breaking free from any stronghold.

Loving and Accepting Others: Pointing Them to Jesus

When asked how Christians should respond to individuals experiencing same-sex attraction, Amy's answer is clear: love them. Treat them with the same kindness and respect you would anyone else. Get to know them without an agenda, building genuine relationships.

Ultimately, our role is to point everyone, regardless of their struggles, to Jesus. He is the one who heals and transforms hearts. Amy shared a powerful quote: "The opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality, it's holiness." This profound statement highlights that our focus should be on pursuing a life of holiness and intimacy with God, which is a journey for all of us.

It's easy to fall into the trap of trying to "fix" others or beat them over the head with the Bible. However, we must remember that we all have our own struggles and sins to contend with. True love involves recognizing our shared humanity and pointing each other towards the ultimate source of healing and freedom.

Focusing on Our Own Hearts First

Amy's journey has taught her the importance of looking inward first. While it's easy to see the struggles of others, we must examine our own hearts and identify any hidden sins or areas where we need to repent and grow. God has used this area of her life to teach her to look at her own heart and pursue holiness in all areas.

Resources for Walking in Freedom

Amy has created a wonderful online resource at WalkingInFreedom.Net. Her website offers an "About Me" page where you can learn more about her journey and a valuable "Resources" page. This page includes links to books and tools like Covenant Eyes, which can be incredibly helpful for those struggling with pornography or same-sex attraction.

Amy understands that finding safe and reliable resources online can be challenging, especially when dealing with sensitive topics. Her aim is to provide a curated list of resources that she has found helpful in her own life and that are led by individuals with a similar heart for ministry.

Amy closed our interview with a powerful prayer for those struggling with same-sex attraction and pornography:

My Final Thoughts: Dig Deeper, Go Higher

Amy's testimony is a powerful reminder that no matter what struggles we face, true freedom and healing can be found in an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. Her vulnerability and honesty are incredibly inspiring, and I pray that her story touches many lives.

I encourage you to visit Amy's website at Walking in Freedom Net to learn more about her ministry and the resources she offers. If you found this blog post encouraging, please share it with your friends and family through email and social media.

Thank you for joining me for this special edition of Coffee with Conrad. Remember to dig deeper in your faith and go higher in your pursuit of Jesus. God bless you all!